Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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