Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.