Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade. http://tfl.nu/0707
  Replies (29) Good night (1003) Bad night (4390)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/fxno
  Replies (33) Good night (1105) Bad night (8465)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad. http://tfl.nu/ox9m
  Replies (15) Good night (3126) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw
  Replies (17) Good night (5164) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v
  Replies (25) Good night (1394) Bad night (9792)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (1005) Bad night (3408)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy. http://tfl.nu/1qel
  Replies (22) Good night (6105) Bad night (1249)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights http://tfl.nu/qbnp
  Replies (5) Good night (1890) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp http://tfl.nu/dn3p
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (1696)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/ctqb
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (999) Bad night (1972)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking. http://tfl.nu/bbzn
  Replies (2) Good night (1034) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv
  Replies (2) Good night (1297) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car http://tfl.nu/h2al
  Replies (11) Good night (548) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies! http://tfl.nu/zfby
  Replies (9) Good night (447) Bad night (696)

Randomize