Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate

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  (313): Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate http://tfl.nu/xmwg
  Replies (15) Good night (1564) Bad night (4168)
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  (858): View more from California

  you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.

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  (858): you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch. http://tfl.nu/r7zt
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (1527)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.

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  (813): The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp. http://tfl.nu/6snw
  Replies (22) Good night (3170) Bad night (1174)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"

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  (917): ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?" http://tfl.nu/yq0r
  Replies (1) Good night (2828) Bad night (678)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.

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  (503): Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account. http://tfl.nu/dorm
  Replies (25) Good night (1262) Bad night (3517)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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  (845): Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad. http://tfl.nu/mllb
  Replies (18) Good night (828) Bad night (5174)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.

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  (804): we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close. http://tfl.nu/c6b4
  Replies (12) Good night (6275) Bad night (870)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina

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  (952): His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina http://tfl.nu/9a4t
  Replies (42) Good night (3467) Bad night (891)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

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  (781): My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum http://tfl.nu/wc4p
  Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (1665)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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  (306): All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer http://tfl.nu/jur4
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (579)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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  (410): You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club. http://tfl.nu/mn4e
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (402)
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  (463): View more from

  I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

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  (463): I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file. http://tfl.nu/era2
  Replies (8) Good night (771) Bad night (447)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger

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  (304): They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger http://tfl.nu/q9xy
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.

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  (519): We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it. http://tfl.nu/woad
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not

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  (920): I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not http://tfl.nu/p3ul
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (355)

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