what if I'm pregnant?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.