Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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