Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  nut hugger

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  (313): nut hugger http://tfl.nu/mtjw
  Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (897)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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  (201): i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness. http://tfl.nu/zg7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (500)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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  (740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try. http://tfl.nu/d3im
  Replies (38) Good night (505) Bad night (4222)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

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  (917): and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter. http://tfl.nu/zjf3
  Replies (25) Good night (979) Bad night (3876)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.

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  (484): I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking. http://tfl.nu/qzjs
  Replies (22) Good night (5331) Bad night (895)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand

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  (908): i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand http://tfl.nu/4jef
  Replies (17) Good night (5233) Bad night (936)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.

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  (575): Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship. http://tfl.nu/tvch
  Replies (8) Good night (803) Bad night (3202)
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  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2693) Bad night (892)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

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  (813): If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing. http://tfl.nu/gg1f
  Replies (26) Good night (6066) Bad night (894)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.

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  (616): We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style. http://tfl.nu/liij
  Replies (2) Good night (2069) Bad night (637)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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  (636): Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time. http://tfl.nu/mfto
  Replies (6) Good night (2298) Bad night (1237)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...

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  (605): "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in... http://tfl.nu/n5vg
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (384)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.

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  (312): i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me. http://tfl.nu/c5n9
  Replies (3) Good night (1681) Bad night (308)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?

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  (630): How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club? http://tfl.nu/moii
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (299)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

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  (901): Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life. http://tfl.nu/oxrc
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (377)

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