Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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  (815): i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed. http://tfl.nu/wp0k
  Replies (68) Good night (980) Bad night (9946)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Did we have sex last night?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

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  (706): Did we have sex last night? (1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. http://tfl.nu/f9pg
  Replies (16) Good night (816) Bad night (6382)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

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  (401): he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick http://tfl.nu/778x
  Replies (69) Good night (14789) Bad night (4004)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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  (702): Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm http://tfl.nu/d1by
  Replies (1) Good night (2171) Bad night (774)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

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  (832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf
  Replies (9) Good night (1814) Bad night (1912)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?

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  (307): WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT? http://tfl.nu/38wl
  Replies (11) Good night (921) Bad night (1901)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.

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  (513): She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl. http://tfl.nu/kcuq
  Replies (5) Good night (1596) Bad night (557)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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  (727): I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate. http://tfl.nu/o1ey
  Replies (5) Good night (1618) Bad night (491)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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  (256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (598)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (400)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off

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  (480): unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off http://tfl.nu/u622
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (539)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

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  (516): He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. http://tfl.nu/ta05
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (459)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat

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  (630): You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat http://tfl.nu/qknk
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (522)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.

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  (+44): There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok. http://tfl.nu/5g3s
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (463)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex

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  (919): His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex http://tfl.nu/w8o8
  Replies (6) Good night (497) Bad night (311)

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