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• (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

  Fav 17 1417 10422

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• (214): View more from Texas

  You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

  Fav 14 6425 1381

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

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• 

  25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker

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• (360): View more from Washington

  corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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• (718): View more from New York

  She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Send help, water and tortillas.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Campus is too small for this to keep happening

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?

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