i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!