I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
