I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
