I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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