i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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