Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
