Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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