He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
try to milk me bitch
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