I'll bet she douches with gravy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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