hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
