Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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