So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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