would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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