guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
