Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
