It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I understand Curling. That high.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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