I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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