Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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