Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
