i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
