i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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