Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
