Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
