So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
