Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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