The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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