Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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