I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
