Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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