how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize