Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
