Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize