I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize