Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
