Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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