They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
