Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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