Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
