I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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