you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
