if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
