Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize