Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pants are for mortals
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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