The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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