Well apparently he's into motor boating.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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