That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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