On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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