I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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