Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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