I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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