If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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