If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
