she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
