We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
