it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
