it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
